Transitions are tough

Baby robins in a nest below our deck, taken May 23, 2010.

I woke up to the sound of bird songs punctuating the silence from the woods outside our open window .

As I got up and started to move about the house I found visual reminders that three of our four children drove or flew in and then back out this weekend—a discarded shoebox on a kitchen stool, a half-empty carton of soy milk, an unmade bed waiting for a change of sheets.

Transitions are the hard part in life—waiting at a bedside while someone wastes away to cancer; adjusting to a move; settling into a now largely empty and relatively quiet home.

Maybe it will feel different in a few years, or if one or more of our children decide to move back to our home town.

Our children are building their own lives and we are happy and feel rewarded by that. It is what every parent hopes for. And at 54 I don’t have the same energy that I needed for parenting when I was in my 20s, 30s and 40s. But our children’s growing independence, by necessity, brings a diminished role in their lives for me. Sometimes I feel like the holiday and crisis parent.

I think I had always imagined, or was hoping for . . . more.

May 27, 2010
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11 thoughts on “Transitions are tough”

  1. This is so touching. I hope that you find joy in the transitions and maybe a new sense of purpose as your relationship with you children changes along with your relationship with yourself.

  2. I am always struck by the power and eloquence of words when they come from the heart, as yours have done.
    Time to meet the new challenge in your life perhaps?
    When in doubt, smile 😉

  3. My nieces and nephews are starting to head off to college. It’s startling.

    Just yesterday I was reading them picture books, sending them stickers, and singing nursery rhymes with them.

    Turn around . . . and he’s a young man walking out of the door.

    Maybe that’s why empty nesters push their kids for grandkids. 😀

  4. As others have already written in their comments, this is a touching post. It reminds me of when I went through my own version of Empty Nest Syndrome.

  5. We moms shoulder so much of what happens to our families, both physically and emotionally, because we invest so deeply. Figuring out how to care for our own needs is never as easy, it seems. Writing about it can be therapeutic; it has been for me. And having other moms share their feelings can definitely help. I know it does for me.

    so we’re all here for you…hugmamma. 😉

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