Mothers’ wisdom

Dear friends, acquaintances, readers, and unconcerned passers-by,

I am sending out this request for guest bloggers who would like to share a memory and write on the topic of mother’s wisdom. Now that Mom is gone, when her little pieces of wisdom come to mind I greet them like a precious jewel. I am planning on sharing those little jewels with you as they drop into my hands. But I realized that we all have pieces of wisdom from our mothers. I invite you to share one here on my blog. I hope to hear from you, whenever, at christine.m.grote@gmail.com.

~~~~~~~

“Things don’t always turn out like you think they’re going to.”

 Mom said that to me at some point during our journey through her last six weeks. I don’t remember what comment I made that provoked it, but I’m sure it was one of my attempts at being upbeat and optimistic about her move to the assisted living facility. Or maybe it was a fore-shadowing of her dip in the whirlpool at the new facility that I thought would be heaven after all the years she wasn’t able to get in or out of the bathtub at home. That turned out to be incredibly uncomfortable, a test of fortitude and endurance actually, when Mom had to sit (for a very long time according to her) on a straight-backed metal seat that got lowered into the tub. “I’m not going to do that again,” she said,” unless they can get some kind of a cushion for me.”

Some things just don’t turn out as good as you think they’re going to.

I don’t know what experiences in her life drove that thought home but I imagine the day-to-day care of Annie; Mom’s attempts to improve the quality of life for her mother who had dementia; or Mom’s constant battle to take care of Dad at home as he continued to decline with Alzheimer’s provided many opportunities for failed attempts and things that didn’t turn out as good as Mom had hoped.

It’s not a profound statement really, or likely even one that we haven’t already learned on our own. But sometimes, some of us, need to be reminded, I guess.

Mark was playing golf this morning. He doesn’t get out that often. We used to play occasionally with his parents. I rode in the cart with his mother and he with his father. I enjoyed that well enough. His mom wasn’t considerably better than I was and it wasn’t overly taxing for me. I can’t say the same for later attempts to play in a foursome with our sons or other people who didn’t mind devoting hours to the game week-after-week and year-after-year in order to improve their skills.

I really like the idea of playing golf with Mark and some friends. I imagine it might be a life-style I could enjoy—a weekly outing on the golf course on 70 degree, blue-sky, breezy days. Laughter, camaraderie, the challenge and the feeling that comes when the ball soars off the tee and flies out over the green straight ahead dropping into an excellent chipping or putting position (I really have to stretch my imagination on that one.)

In my weaker moments I sometimes forget the frustration and utter humiliation of some of my later attempts at golfing. My mind conveniently refuses to recall that the last time I played nine holes I quit after only three, picking up my ball, jamming my 5-iron into the bag, and parking myself in the cart while uttering all kinds of best-forgotten comments.  I think maybe golfing would be a fun thing that Mark and I could enjoy. Sometimes I think, maybe I’ll try again.

At times like those when my imagination threatens to delude me it is good to remember the wise words of my mother, “Things don’t always turn out like you think they’re going to.”

Undoubtedly so. Thanks, Mom.

golf

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Author: CMSmith

I enjoy reading, writing, gardening, photography, genealogy and travel. I have opinions about many things, but am trying to age gracefully and not continually tick people off with them. Sometimes I can’t help myself.

17 thoughts on “Mothers’ wisdom”

  1. Yes, you can say that again, Mom, “Things sure don’t always turn out the way you thought they would.!” But, hey, you can still choose to appreciate and love all that life throws your way ~ it really is in the end a matter of attitude. As I recall, Mom also had posted on the laundry room refrigerator door a copy of an inspirational quote entitled, “Attitude”.

    Nice piece Christine, I enjoyed it ~ seems that your writing skills are all coming back better than ever !

    1. I have that inspirational quote in one of my files to be scrapbooked. My goal is to have the dining room table cleared off by the time you swing back through. So it’s a relief to hear you’ll be in Florida a bit yet—it’s also fuels my procrastination.

      Thanks for stopping by and for the kind words. Are you going to contribute a memory?

  2. Awesome post as always, Christine. I am going to have to think about your question awhile….I am sure my mom has given me some wisdom but I have to think about what one would be a good one to share.

  3. Great post! My mom had two sayings. One was “This too shall pass,” and the other, when I was a teenager waiting for my prince to come, was “Even for you, there’s someone.” I found that both insulting and comforting 🙂 Both were true.

  4. I’ll think about it . . . but I think I’ve given mom more good advice than she gave me. :mrgreen:

    She gave the standard, for then, advice:

    “Drink your milk.”
    “Eat your meat.”
    “Breakfast is the most important meal of the day.”

    Turns out that milk and meat aren’t good for you . . . and not everyone needs breakfast. 😉

      1. Here’s a couple links:

        People who do 3 hours of chores in the morning probably need breakfast:
        http://yourdoctorsorders.com/2011/10/breakfast-myths/

        Eat when hungry, sleep when tired:
        http://www.diet.com/diet/viewtopic.php?t=6334

        The three meal a day concept comes from the 19th century, when America was prosperous, yet largely agricultural, and most families were farm families. If you live on a family farm you are often working 12-16 hour days every day and you do NEED these three meals to keep you going, literally.

        But most of us sit on our buts now to do our jobs, yet we still buy into this three meal a day tradition.

  5. I wish I had a story to contribute but sadly my own Mother relationship was never that close…

    Golfing I did that, still have my golf bag full of clubs and shoes… I had several lessons and loved going out with Hubby . but when my muscles ached too much I had to let it slide…
    But Go for it …. and enjoy…….
    And happened upon this post today when Our own Justin Rose won the US open Cup! 🙂 I remember seeing him aged 18 play.. 🙂 Big smiles…

    Enjoy your week… Love Sue xx

  6. This was a great call-out. I bet you got some wonderful stories from it, too. What post eventuated from this? I’d be interested to read… need a bit of mother’s wisdom!

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